"Comfortable" joke
A Tongan man hired a Samoan man to work at his cattle farm in Tonga. He needed a bull, so he sent the Samoan man to Samoa to buy a bull. Before he left the Tongan man gave the Samoan man $600 to buy the best bull that he can find. He bought a bull that cost him $599 which includes the shipping and handling costs to send it to Tonga. He went to wire a telegram to his boss in Tonga and realized he only had one dollar left. He asked the clerk how much to send a telegram. The clerk said that it costs a dollar per word. He told the clerk to write down "Comfortable". Get it?! "Come for the bull."
Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia.
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks.
Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.
The results: Drink: Beer
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like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by
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A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...