"Chuck Norris saw evil, spoke evil, and heard evil...." joke

Chuck Norris saw evil, spoke evil, and heard evil. Then he gave evil a sharp roundhouse kick to the head.

• Women have more imagination than men. They need it to tell men how wonderful they are. • Women have a number of faults. Men have only two - everything they say and everything they do. • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful more...

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A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

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Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

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You mamma is soo fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!

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My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

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