"Chocolate.. mmm!!!" joke

Woman in a restaurant: right, id like a scoop of strawberry icecream, a scoop of chocolate icecream, and a scoop of vanilla please!
Waiter: I'm sorry madam, it seems we have no choclate.
Woman: (sighs) then ill have a strawberry milkshake, vanilla milkshake and a chocolate milkshake please!
Waiter: I'm sorry we dont have any chocolate milkshake.
Woman: Fine. I'll have a strawberry shortcake, vanilla shortcake and a chocolate shortcake PLEASE!
Waiter: Madam, we have NO chocolate! tell me, please, is there the word 'van' in vanilla?
Woman: Yes, theres a 'van' in vanilla
Waiter: And, is the word straw in strawberry?
Woman: Yes, theres a 'straw' in strawberry.
Waiter: Is there a 'fuck' in choclate
Woman: Theres no 'fuck' in choclate
Waiter: THAT'S WHAT IV'E BEEN TRYING 2 TELL YOU!!!

Jimmy came up to his father one day and asked for a car. His father said, "Jimmy once your dick reaches your asshole, you can have a car." Two years later, Jimmy told his dad that his dick was able to reach his asshole. His father turned to him and said, "Well more...

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A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...

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Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia.

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A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

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Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes

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