Vanilla Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Vanilla Ice performed at halftime of a New Jersey Nets game. To make the Nets look good in comparison.

    The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you have?"

    "Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," the girl wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue.

    "Do you have laryngitis?" the young man asked sympathetically.

    "Nope," she whispered, "just vanilla, chocolate and strawberry."

    An elderly couple is getting ready for bed. She says Oh I am just so hungry for ice cream and there isn't any in the house." He says, " I'll go get some." She says, "Vanilla with chocolate sauce, with whipped cream on top and a cherry." She adds, "Please write it down, I know you'll forget." He says," I won't forget. Vanilla with chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and a cherry."
    Away he goes. Hours later he comes back and hands her a paper bag. "In it is a "HAM SANDWICH". She says," I told you to write it down! You forgot the mustard."

    "What flavors of ice cream do you have?" inquired the customer.

    "Vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate," answered the new waitress in a hoarse whisper.

    Trying to be sympathetic, the customer asked, "Do you have laryngitis?"

    "No...." replied the new waitress with some effort, "just... erm.... vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate."

    A True Ice Cream Story
    This is a weird but true story (with a moral). ..
    A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors:
    "This is the second time I have written you, and I don't blame you for not answering me, because I kind of sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of ice cream for dessert after dinner each night. But the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we've eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it.

    It's also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem. You see, every time I buy vanilla ice cream, when I start back from the store my car won't start. If I get any other kind of ice cream, the car starts just fine.

    I want you to know I'm serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds:' What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not more...

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