"Blind policeman" joke
When a blonde came home from work one day she found her house had been robbed. She called the police and they posted it on the news. A local K9 unit got to her house first. A policeman with his dog came and the blonde, sitting on her front porch, shook her head and said, "I come home to find all my belongings have been taken. I call the police, and what do they give me? A BLIND policeman".
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...
During sex last night, my partner whispered in my ear, "Pretend you're my dad."
I was furious.
"You are one sick-minded girl, what a disgusting thing to ask me."
I stormed out of the bedroom and slammed the door.
I mean, you don't expect shit more...
Normal people believe that "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that "If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"
Q: What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?
A: Leave the plunger in the toilet
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.