"sister" joke

During sex last night, my partner whispered in my ear, "Pretend you're my dad."
I was furious.
"You are one sick-minded girl, what a disgusting thing to ask me."
I stormed out of the bedroom and slammed the door.
I mean, you don't expect shit like that from your sister, do you?

A man phoned his boss "I need a day off today, something is wrong with my eyes". "What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss. "Don't know, but I can't see myself coming into work today".

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Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

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A four-year-old boy asked his friend what a penis was. His friend's response was that he did not know and he would ask his dad.

That evening the second boy asked his dad. His dad gladly exposed himself to his son and with his penis in hand said, "Son this is a more...

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I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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kkell:Your face ran away from your hairline
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kkell:Your momma so she's on both sides of the famaily
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kkell:Your hairline did a 360
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deesnuts:you guys are such assholes
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bearizzle:what is the hardest thing about watching an 8yr old get hit by a car? A: my dick
Funny Joke? 167 vote(s). 56% are positive. 5 comment(s).