"Baby Boomers Then and Now" joke

Then: Being caught with Hustler magazine
Now: Being caught by Hustler magazine

Then: Hoping for a BMW
Now: Hoping for a BM

Then: The Grateful Dead
Now: Dr. Kevorkian

Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint
Now: Getting a new hip joint

Then Mood Stones
Now: Kidney Stones

Then: Moving to California because it's cool
Now: Moving to California because it's warm

Then: Being called into the principal's office
Now: Storming into the principal's office

Then: Screw the system!
Now: System upgrade.

Then: Peace Sign
Now: Mercedes Logo

Then: Getting your head stoned
Now: Getting your headstone

Then:' 'The Making of the President''
Now: The making of the President

Then:' 'Going blind''
Now: REALLY going blind

Then: Long hair
Now: Longing for hair

Then: Father Knows Best
Now: Go ask your mother!

Then: Parents begging you to get a haircut.
Now: Children begging you to get their head shaved.

Then: Acid rock
Now: Acid reflux

Then: The perfect high
Now: The perfect high-yield mutual fund

Then: Keg
Now: EKG

Then: Take acid
Now: Take antacid

Then: VW Microbus
Now: Voyager Minivan

Then: Thai Stick
Now: Thai Food

Then: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents
Now: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your kids

Then: Passing the driving test
Now: Passing the vision test

Then: Seeds and stems
Now: Roughage

Then: Popping pills, smoking joints
Now: Popping joints

Then: Whatever!
Now:' 'Depends''

Then: Ommmmmm
Now: Ummmmmm

Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor
Now: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor