"Animal Complaints" joke
It seems that God received a delegation of animals complaining of their lot. They were an elephant, a giraffe, and a hen.
The elephant complained, "Lord, I HATE THIS TRUNK YOU have given me. It gets in the way, and makes me look like a fool!"
The Lord said, "Don't complain. It lets you pick up food, drink water, etc. without getting wet!"
Next the giraffe complained, "Lord, I HATE THIS LONG NECK! It makes me top heavy, I get terrible neck pains, and people laugh at me!"
The Lord said, "Don't complain. It lets you pick the best fruit and leaves from the high branches, and allows you to see a distance."
The hen spoke up, "Lord, I don't want to complain, but either let me have a bigger hole or smaller eggs."
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...
A mild mannered man was tired of his wife always bossing him around, so he went to a psychiatrist. The doctor told him he had to develop self-esteem. The doctor gave him a booklet on assertiveness training, which he read on the way home.
When he walked through the door and more...
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...