"Angelic Trick or Treater" joke

A woman opened her door on Halloween night to find the most adorable little girl with golden blonde hair and the biggest blue eyes standing before her. Dressed as an angel, the little girl was truly delightful.
"What do you say, sweetheart?" the woman asked.
"Twick or Tweat!" the little angel said softly.
The woman got such a kick out of this that she called her husband to come to the door so he could see the adorable child. "Go ahead, honey, say it one more time," she said to the little girl.
Again, the little angel looked up and softly said, "Twick or Tweat!"
The husband agreed that this little angel was just the cutest thing. The woman took an apple from the treat bowl, polished it up and dropped it into the little girl's treat bag.
The adorable little angel looked in her bag, then up at the woman and exclaimed, "Way to go lady. You just smashed my fucking cookies!"

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each would get one wish. The redhead more...

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Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

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your momas so fat when she stepped on the scale it said new high score.

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