"Adam and Eve" joke

The Lord decided it was time to make a companion for Adam.

He summoned St. Peter and told him of His decision.

He told St. Peter that he wanted to make a being who was similar to man, yet was different, and could offer him comfort, companionship and pleasure.

The Lord said He would call this being woman. So St. Peter went about creating this being, which was similar to man yet was different in ways that would be appealing and could provide physical pleasure to man. When St. Peter had finished creating this being who could now be called woman he summoned The Lord.

'Ah, St. Peter, once again you have done an excellent job', said The Lord

'Thank You, O Great One, I live but to serve.' replied St. Peter.' I am now ready to provide the brain, nerve endings and senses to this..... .. woman. I require your assistance on this matter Lord.'

'You shall make her brain, slightly smaller, yet more intuitive, more feeling, more compassionate, and more adaptable than man's,' said God.

'The nerve endings, said St. Peter.' How many will I put in her hands?'

'How many did we put in Adam?', asked The Lord.

'Two hundred, O Mighty One', replied St. Peter.

'Then we shall do the same for this woman,' said The Lord.

'And how many nerve endings shall we put in her feet?'

'How many did we put in Adam?', asked The Lord.

'Seventy five, O Mighty One', replied St. Peter.

'Ah yes, these beings are constantly on their feet so they benefit from having less nerve endings there, do the same for woman', said He.

'How many nerve endings should we put in woman's genitals', inquired St. Peter.

'How many did we put in Adam?', asked The Lord.

'Four hundred and twenty, O Mighty One', replied St. Peter.

'Of course, we did want Adam to have a means of receiving extra pleasure in his life, didn't we? Do the same for woman', said The Lord.

'Oh Yes, Great Lord', said St. Peter.

'No, wait.' said The Lord.' Let's give her ten thousand, I want her to scream my name EVERY Time!'

A four-year-old boy asked his friend what a penis was. His friend's response was that he did not know and he would ask his dad.

That evening the second boy asked his dad. His dad gladly exposed himself to his son and with his penis in hand said, "Son this is a more...


Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!


Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!


One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having a conversation.
The Pickle says, "You know, my life really sucks. Whenever I get big fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings on my and stick me in a jar.
The Cucumber says, "Yeah, you think that's bad? Whenever more...


Two Irish couples agree to swap partners for the night.....
After 3 hours of amazing sex paddy says:
"I wonder how the girls are getting on..."

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