"A blonde once shot an arrow into " joke

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

During sex last night, my partner whispered in my ear, "Pretend you're my dad."
I was furious.
"You are one sick-minded girl, what a disgusting thing to ask me."
I stormed out of the bedroom and slammed the door.
I mean, you don't expect shit more...

Normal people believe that "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that "If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"

Q: What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?
A: Leave the plunger in the toilet

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.