"A Troubled User" joke

what if u upgraded Girlfriend 5. 0 to Wife 1. 0: )

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Dear Tech Support Team:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5. 0 to Wife 1. 0.

I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1. 0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as BachelorNights 10. 3, Cricket 5. 0, BeerWithBuddies 7. 5, and Outings 3. 6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can`t seem to keep Wife 1. 0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I`m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5. 0, but the `uninstall` doesn`t work on Wife 1. 0.

Please help!

Thanks,
"A Troubled User"