"A Compiler With a Sense of Humor" joke

These are some of the error messages produced by Apple's MPW C
compiler. They are all real. (If you must know I was bored one
afternoon and decompiled the String resources for the compiler.)
"String literal too long (I let you have 512 characters; that's 3
more than ANSI said I should)"
"...And the lord said, 'lo, there shall only be case or default
labels inside a switch statement'"
"A typedef name was a complete surprise to me at this point in your
"You can't modify a constant, float upstream, win an argument with
the IRS, or satisfy this compiler"
"This struct already has a perfectly good definition"
"type in (cast) must be scalar; ANSI 3.3.4; page 39, lines 10-11 (I
know you don't care, I'm just trying to annoy you)"
"Can't cast a void type to type void (because the ANSI spec. says
so, that's why)"
"Can't go mucking with a 'void *'"
"We already did this function"
"This label is the target of a goto from outside of the block
containing this label AND this block has an automatic variable with
an initializer AND your window wasn't wide enough to read this whole
error message"
"Call me paranoid but finding '/*' inside this comment makes me
"Too many errors on one line (make fewer)"
"Symbol table full - fatal heap error; please go buy a RAM upgrade
from your local Apple dealer"

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!


A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...


A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...


Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.


I farted in an elevator yesterday... it was wrong on so many levels.

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