Wilson Jokes / Recent Jokes
The most successful lawyer in town had never made a contribution to the Red Cross. The chairman of the Red Cross, Mr. Wilson, called on the lawyer, hoping to convince him to make a donation.
"You made over $600,000 last year but you haven't given anything back to the community. How do you reconcile that?"
The lawyer sighed, leaned forward and said, "If you only knew...
My mother is terminally ill; her medical bills far exceed her income. My brother is a disabled veteran, blind and in a wheelchair. My sister is raising three children alone since her husband died in an auto accident."
Mr. Wilson offered his sympathy, admitting he had no idea there were so many demands on the lawyer's profits.
The lawyer nodded and said, "Exactly... Why should I give to the Red Cross when I don't even give to my own family!"
The most successful lawyer in town had never made a contribution to the Red Cross. The chairman of the Red Cross, Mr. Wilson, called on the lawyer, hoping to convince him to make a donation."You made over $600,000 last year but you haven't given anything back to the community. How do you reconcile that?"The lawyer sighed, leaned forward and said, "If you only knew...My mother is terminally ill; her medical bills far exceed her income. My brother is a disabled veteran, blind and in a wheelchair.My sister is raising three children alone since her husband died in an auto accident."Mr. Wilson offered his sympathy, admitting he had no idea there were so many demands on the lawyer's profits.The lawyer nodded and said, "Exactly...Why should I give to the Red Cross when I don't even give to my own family!"
Singing Tree Tattles On Burglar Suspects
BATON ROUGE, La. (Reuters) - A singing Christmas tree tattled on two teenage
burglary suspects in Louisiana, leaving the boys with backsides full of
buckshot rather than handfuls of loot, police said Tuesday.
Businessman Leon Wilson, Sr., 59, had been robbed twice last week, so he
started sleeping in his store Friday night and set up a makeshift burglar
alarm - a motion-activated toy Christmas tree his wife had perched near the
store's cash register. Wilson said the toy annoyed him everytime someone
walked by.
When motion is detected, the tree's eyes pop open, its mouth moves and it
calls out "Merry Christmas, Everybody!" before singing "Jingle Bells." Wilson
set up the toy near the door and stretched out on a couch in the back.
Early Monday morning, the singing Christmas tree went off and he spotted two
burglars near the cash register, armed with a crowbar they allegedly more...
The most successful lawyer in town had never made a contribution to the Red Cross. The chairman of the Red Cross, Mr. Wilson, called on the lawyer, hoping to convince him to make a donation." You made over $600, 000 last year but you haven't given anything back to the community. How do you reconcile that?" The lawyer sighed, leaned forward and said, "If you only knew... My mother is terminally ill; her medical bills far exceed her income. My brother is a disabled veteran, blind and in a wheelchair. My sister is raising three children alone since her husband died in an auto accident." Mr. Wilson offered his sympathy, admitting he had no idea there were so many demands on the lawyer's profits. The lawyer nodded and said, "Exactly... Why should I give to the Red Cross when I don't even give to my own family!"
THE FOSTERS AD DURING THE OLYMPICS
I don't have a kangaroo for a pet
I don't wrestle with crocodiles And I don't wear a cork hat
I fight wars but never start wars I would rather make peace
I can wear my country's flag with pride
I am a rock I am the ocean I am the island continent
My neighbours are the Smiths, the Wilson's, the Santerellis,
the De Costis, the Wong's and the Jakamarras
I play football without a helmet
I like beetroot on my hamburger
I ride in the front seat of the taxi
I believe it's a prawn not a shrimp
I believe the world is round and down under is on top
I believe Australia is the best address on Earth
And Australians brew the best beer.
now..... THE REAL AUSSIE
I ate my pet Kangaroo
I am shit scared of crocodiles And I wear a baseball cap
I love star wars And the wookie is my favourite
I would rather get pissed
And watch someone else carry the country's more...