Whore Jokes / Recent Jokes

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living.
"Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your father do all day?"
Tim stood up and proudly said, "He is a doctor."
"That is wonderful. How about you, Sarah?"
Sarah shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
"Thank you, Sarah," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"
Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays the piano in a whore house."
The teacher was horrified and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher repeated what his son had said and demanded an explanation.
Billy's father said, "Well, I am actually a lawyer. But can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old boy?"

Harry says to his pet parrot Smitty, "What do you want for your birthday?" Smitty says, "I want to get laid."
So Harry takes Smitty to a parrot whore house, gives him a hundred bucks, and Smitty goes upstairs with a hot-looking parrot whore.
After a few minutes, Harry hears really loud screeching and squawking, so he runs upstairs and into the room.
There's Smitty, holding down the whore parrot and yanking out her colorful feathers.
"Harry, says Smitty, what the hell are you doing?"
Smitty says, "For a hundred bucks I want her nude!"

Harry says to his pet parrot Smitty, "What do you want for your birthday?" Smitty says, "I want to get laid."So Harry takes Smitty to a parrot whore house, gives him a hundred bucks, and Smitty goes upstairs with a hot-looking parrot whore.After a few minutes, Harry hears really loud screeching and squawking, so he runs upstairs and into the room.There's Smitty, holding down the whore parrot and yanking out her colorful feathers."Harry, says Smitty, what the hell are you doing?"Smitty says, "For a hundred bucks I want her nude!"

Once there was this guy, he was really horny all the time. So one day, he decided to go to a whore house, to buy a whore. He gets there and says "gimmi a whore" And the lady at the desk says " O.K., go down those stairs, take a left and it's the second door on the right." So the guy goes down the stairs, takes a left and goes into the room, second on the right.
So he's waiting there for about 5 minutes, when he sees a bowl of tomatoes on the table. So he picks one up and starts eating it.
The first whore walks in, sees him eating the tomatoe, screams and runs back up stairs. the guy continues eating the tomatoes.
Ten minutes the second whore comes in the room, sees him eating the tomatoes,screams, and runs back up stairs. The guy's like, what the hell? But he's too lazy to get up and see whats going on.
So ten minutes later the third whore walks in, sees him eating the tomatoes, and runs up stairs screaming. Now the guys really weirded out. So more...

Old Indian Trick
A Cowboy riding down the trail encounters an Indian laying on the trail with hard on. The Cowboy
asks "what are you doing?" Indian says" Me tellum time." Cowboy shakes his head, rides on,
encounters another exactly the same. Says "You telling time?" yup" "how can you tell time like that?"
Indian says "workum like sundial, readum shadow". Cowboy, incredulous, rides on. Encounters
Indian in trail masturbating. Cowboy says "let me guess, you're telling time too." Indian says " Nope.
But me windum clock!"
Indian Visits Whore House
An indian walks into a whore house and throws a bag of money on the counter and says, "me
want pussy."
The woman working the counter decides that she wants to have a little fun with him, and tells him
that he must first fuck the big oak tree on the hill.
The indian replies, "me no want tree, me more...

Three cowboys get drunk at a bar. Cowboy #1 demands a whore from the bartender. The whoreless bartender goes to the supply shop and desperatly asks the clerk for a prostitute. Although the clerk doesnt have a whore, he has an inflatable woman. The bartender takes it to the second floor of his bar, blows it up, and lays it on the bed. Going back downstairs, he tells the cowboy that she is upstairs. Cowboy #3, the smallest goes first and stays up for ten minutes after which he comes back down. When asked by the others about her, he replies "She had a firm body, but she sure didnt say much." They laugh and cowboy #2, a medium sized man goes up. Upon his arrival in the bar he is asked the same question to which he gives the same answer. Cowboy #1, the biggest, goes up and two minutes later comes down with a dazzeled expression. "What happened?" the others asked. "When I got onto of her, she suddenly farted and jumped out the window!"

A man walks into a whore house. And asks for a whore.
Man says I only have one left and trust me you dont want her.
Guy says I dont care I just wanna fuck.
So they get in the room and he sticks it in and says damn what is that, go fix it do something.
She goes in the bathroom comes out 15 min later.
He sticks it in again and says yeah thats better.
They go at it for a while.
When the're done the guy asks, what did you do to make it so much better?
She says: picked my scabs.