Weird Jokes / Recent Jokes
I tried to write off a penis pump on my taxes this year as a business expense, but couldn't find the receipt. I had to file an extension
The man behind McDonald's french fries, Edwin Traisman, died Tuesday at the age of 91.
Mr. Traisman was found in his home peacefully wilting under a heat lamp. Efforts to revive Traisman by sticking him in a low temp oven for a few minutes were unsuccessful.
"He led a super-sized life," said Traisman's wife. "Everyone wanted to know his secret to longevity, and Edwin always said,'the trick is in carefully controlling water content prior to the freeze-drying process.'"
According to his wishes, Traisman's remains will be deep fried and dipped in ketchup before being dropped into that little space between the driver's seat and the gear shifter.
...Courtney Love is launching her own "punk-chic" clothing line. Items will be made of natural fibers, be reasonable priced, and will come pre-puked on.
Murderers win the most arguments.
They win because even if they're wrong they're still alive, and that beats paper, rock and scissors.
A funeral director in Houston has been arrested for sexual contact with a female corpse.Joan Rivers plans to have all charges dropped.
Weird Local USA Sex Laws
No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you-or holding you in his arms.
Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown-if they're nude. (Apparently, if you wear socks, you're safe from the law!)
During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico no couple should engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless their car has curtains.
In Cleveland, Ohio women are not allowed to wear patent-leather shoes.
Clinton, Oklahoma has a law against masturbating while watching two people having sex in a car.
It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. more...
I'm driving along on the highway at 65 miles an hour (the speed limit), minding my own business, when outta nowhere there's this big crack in my windshield!!
I swerved right,
and then left,
and it was still right there!!
I was at a red light when they pass