Weird Jokes / Recent Jokes

There is one advantage to being a very large gentleman. My giant fat roll is like a fortress for my balls. Yup, I have the safest set of junk in the world. Hell, even I haven't found a way to get to them!

Just broke up with a bank teller, I really enjoyed the safe sex but I just started losing interest.

Osama Bin Laden has called off his Jihad against the United States for now. He told his followers today, " We do not have to risk our lives fighting the Great Satan. We now have almighty BP, Wall Street, Toyota, and Barrack Obama working for us."

The Better Transportation Association is sponsoring the "Worst Road in Maine" contest. South Carolina governor Mark Sanford says the worst road in Maine is the Appalachian Trail, although its not as bad in Maine as it is when you get to Argentina.

The man's arteries were so badly clogged they had to call in Roto-Rooter.

Incredibly, by Florida standards, he's still considered to be a safe driver.

It is once again time to vote for-the Darwin Award nominees for 1997. As you may already know, the Darwin Awards are for those nominees who will not be contributing to the gene pool (thankfully).

The 1997 nominees are:

NOMINEE No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News] An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend`s windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

NOMINEE No. 2 [Kalamazoo Gazette] James Burns, 34, of Alamo, Mich., was killed in March as he was trying to repair what. police described as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Bums hung underneath so that he could asthe source of a troubling noise. Burns` clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."

NOMINEE No. 3 [Hickory Daily Record] Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in more...