Weather Jokes / Recent Jokes
You know you're not a kid anymore when...You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.You can live without sex, but not without glasses.Your back goes out more than you do.You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.You buy a compass for the dash of your car.You are proud of your lawn mower.Your best friend is dating someone half their age...and isn't breaking any laws.You call Olan Mills before they call you.Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.You sing along with the elevator music.You would rather go to work than stay home sick.You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.You make an appointment to see the dentist.You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.Neighbors borrow your tools.People call at 9 pm and ask, "did i wake you?"You have dreams about prunes.You answer a question with "because i more...
"Gosh, its raining cats and dogs," said Fred looking out of the kitchen window. "I know," said his mother."Ive just stepped in a poodle!"
If you are standing in the main street of Amsterdam, and cant see the clock tower of the Central Railway Station, that means it is raining. If you can see the clock tower, that means it is about to rain.
One man's hobby was fishing, he spent all his weekends near the river or lake, paying no attention to weather.
One Sunday, early in the morning, he went to the river as usual. It was cold and raining, so he decided to return back to his house. He came in, went to his bedroom, undressed and laid near his wife. The lights were off and he snuggled up behind her. She didn't even turn around.
"What a terrible weather today honey," he said to her.
"Yes. And my idiot husband went fishing!"
Q) How do you spot a happy motorcyclist in fair weather? A) Hes got bugs on his teeth.
Penguin Olympic hopefuls forced to shift focus from ice dancing to synchronized swimming.