Waitress Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man and his wife were driving their RV across country and were nearing a town spelled Kissimee. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it - KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME.
They grew more perplexed as they drove into the town. Since they were hungry, the pulled into a place to get something to eat.
At the counter, the man said to the waitress: "My wife and I can't seem to be able to figure out how to pronounce this place. Will you tell me where we are and say it very slowly so that I can understand."
The waitress looked at him and said: "buuurrrgerrr kiiiinnnng."
Mom and Dad went to a restaurant one evening. Dad was about halfway finishing his meal when he took a hard look at the potato.
He called the waitress and said, "This potato is bad."
The waitress picked it up, smacked it, and put it back on the plate, then said, "If that potato causes any more trouble just let me know."
"What flavors of ice cream do you have?" inquired the customer.
"Vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate," answered the new waitress in a hoarse whisper. Trying to be sympathetic, the customer asked, "Do you have laryngitis?"
"No...." replied the new waitress with some effort, "just... erm....
vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate."
A guy goes into a diner, and when the waitress comes over to take his order, he says, "I want eggs, toast, and coffee. But make the eggs uncooked, the toast burnt, and the coffee really strong and bad. And I want you to slam the food onto the table and yell at me."
The waitress says "Why would you want me to something like that?"
He replies, "I'm homesick."
A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared. After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table." The woman calmly looked up at her and replied, "No he didn't. He just walked in the door."
A man and his wife were driving their Recreational Vehicle across the country and were nearing a town spelled Kissimee. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it - KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME. They grew more perplexed as they drove into the town.
Since they were hungry, they pulled into a place to get something to eat. At the counter, the man said to the waitress:
“My wife and I can’t seem to be able to figure out how to pronounce this place. Will you tell me where we are and say it very slowly so that I can understand. ”
The waitress looked at him and said: “Buuurrrgerrr Kiiiinnnng. ”
Two guys were riding in a car, arguing about how to say the name of the city that they were in. One said "Louieville" and the other "Louiseville."
They went on arguing and arguing, until they came upon a fast-food restaurant.
The one guy goes inside and says to the waitress, "Tell me the name of the place where I am right now really, really, really slowly."
The waitress goes, "Bur-ger-King."