Waitress Jokes / Recent Jokes
Well, there was this truck driver that had been driving all day and hadn't stopped for lunch or anything and he was getting REAL hungry. He sees this diner and pulls in, walks up to the counter and sits down by this old biker who was staring at a steaming bowl of chili.The waitress comes up and asks the trucker what he'll have and he looks at that chili and says, "Lady, I am starving to die, here, that chili looks good, I'll have that."The waitress goes off and comes back with the trucker's steamy bowl of chili that he promptly gulps down. Not satisfied yet, he looks over at the biker who is still staring at his chili. The trucker tells him, "hey, I'm still kind of hungry, if you're not gonna eat that, may I?" and the biker slides the bowl of chili toward the trucker.Well, the trucker takes his time with this bowl. He gets about half way down and there's this big greasy dog turd in the bowl. The trucker proceeds to barf everything back into the bowl and the biker more...
A man was sitting in a restaurant when the waitress walks over to him and says, "May I take your order sir."
"Yes," he replies. "I'd like to have the turtle soup, please."
As the waitress walks off to place his order, he takes another look at the menu and changes his mind. He decides he wants the pea soup instead.
Calling the waitress back, he looks at her and says, "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
Q: What did the dumb blond say to the large breasted waitress after reading her name tag? A: What did you name the other one!!
The handsome ad exec and his date entered a restaurant and were seated near the center of the floor. A pretty waitress, observing that the man had forgotton to zip his trousers, scribbled a message on her order pad, left it at his table and scurried away.
Unfolding the note, the man read: "Sir, I'm sure you don't know it, but your fly is unzipped and you're exposing yourself. I will go back to the kitchen and knock some trays off a shelf. The noise will distract everyone and you'll have a chance to adjust your trousers.
"P. S. I love you."
A QUICKIE
A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt with legs that won't quit walks up to his table and asked if he was ready to order,
"What would you like, sir? "He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, then answers, "A quickie."
The waitress turns and walks away in disgust.
After she regains her composure she returns and asks again,
"What would you like, sir?" Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers, "A quickie, please."
This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding "SMACK!" and storms away.
A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers, "Um, I think it's pronounced' quiche'."
One a daya I'ma go to Detroit to a biga hotel. Ina morning I'ma go down to eta the breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two piss's toast.
She bring me only one a piss,
I tella I wanna two piss's, she say to go to the toilet. I say you no unnerstan, I wanna two piss ona my plate,
She say you better not piss on your plate, you sonnama bitch.
I don't even know the lady and she calla me sonnema bitch.
Later I'ma go to eta at biga restaurant,
The waitress brings me spoon and knife but no fock,
I tell her I wanna fock,
She tell me everybody wanna fock,
I tell her you no unnerstan, I wanna fock ona table,
She say you better no fock ona table, you sonnama bitch
So I'ma go back in my room I'ma hotel and theres no s#it ona my bed, I calla the manager an tell him I wanna s#it ona my bed.
He tell me go to the toilet.
I say you no unnerstan, I say again I wanna s#it ona my bed, he say you better not s#it ona the bed you sonnama more...
A man and his wife were driving their Recreational Vehicle across the country and were nearing a town spelled Kissimee. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it - KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME. They grew more perplexed as they drove into the town.
Since they were hungry, they pulled into a place to get something to eat. At the counter, the man said to the waitress:
"My wife and I can't seem to be able to figure out how to pronounce this place. Will you tell me where we are and say it very slowly so that I can understand."
The waitress looked at him and said: "Buuurrrgerrr Kiiiinnnng."