Waitress Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day I go to Toronto and stay in a bigga hotel. I go down to eat soma breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna twopissa toast. She bring me only one piss. I tella her I wanna two piss; she say, go to toilet - I say, you nounderstand, I wanna two piss on my plate. She say you betta no pisson plate, you sonna ma b*tch! I don't even know lady, she calla mesomma ma b*tch. Then I go to pharmacia with a cougha. The man he give me candy anatell me fa cough! - I don't even know man ana he tella me FA COUGH! Later I got to eat soma lunch at Ricky's Place, the waitress shebring me spoon, a knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock - Shetell me everybody wanna fock. I tella her, you no understand, Iwanna fock on table. She say you betta not fock on table you sonnama b*tch - I not even know lady ana she call me sonna ma b*tch. So, I go back to my hotel room, an there's no sheet on my bed. Icalla the manager and tella him I wanna sheet, he tell me go totoilet. So, I say, you no understand, I more...

"Is there chicken in your vegetarian gumbo?" - Asked of a waitress.
"Just the chicken." - The response a waitress gave when asked if there were any dairy products in a soup.
"Would you like cream and sugar with that?" - Asked by a waitress when a customer specified orange juice instead of coffee as part of a breakfast meal.
"Do you want cheese on that?" - Asked when a customer ordered a plain cheeseburger.
"You want fries with that?" - Asked when a customer ordered an apple turnover.
"Do you want onions on that?" - A waitress, in response to a couple ordering a milk shake and a large cola.
"Is there any meat in the veggie rolls?"
"Do you get rice with your fried rice?"
"I'm sorry, we only have six inch and foot long subs." - A waitress, when asked for a 12 inch sub.
"Would you like to care for a cup of coffee?" - A waitress.
"Which of these more...

What did the dumb blond say to the large breasted waitress after reading her name tag?
What did you name the other one!!

Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks the first vampire what he would like. The first vampire responds, “I vould like some blood. ”
The waitress turns to the second vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, “I vould like some blood. ”
The waitress turns to the third vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, “I vould like some plasma. ”
The waitress looks up and says, “Let me see if I have this order correct. You want two bloods and a blood light? ”

Two americans were walking through Leicester but couldn't agree on how to pronounce it so they decided to stop for lunch and ask the waitress.
They sat down to eat their lunch and called the waitress over:
"Can you tell us where we are please but say it slowly",
to which the waiteress replied "Bur-ger Ki-ng"

What did the dumb blonde say to the big breasted waitress after reading her name tag? Cute! What did you name the other one?

Two americans were walking through Leicester but couldn't agree on how to pronounce it so they decided to stop for lunch and ask the waitress.They sat down to eat their lunch and called the waitress over:"Can you tell us where we are please but say it slowly", to which the waiteress replied "Bur-ger Ki-ng"