Violists Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss and what they don't know can't hurt them.

Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering? Because if they get lost, it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing.

Q: Why don't violists play hide and seek? A: Because no one will look for them.

Q: Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering? A: Because if they get lost, it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing.

How many violists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They're not small enough to fit.

Q: What is a chord?
A: Three violists playing in unison.

Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto?
A: Music Minus One.

Q: What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline.

Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section?
A: Half a measure.

Q: What is the difference between grapes and a viola?
A: You take off your shoes to stamp on grapes.

Conductor: Again from measure 5, if you please.
Voice from viola section: But Maestro, we have no measure numbers.

Q: What is the difference between a chainsaw and a viola?
A: If you absolutely had to, you could use a chainsaw in a string quartet.

Q: What do you call a person who plays the viola?
A: A violator.

Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section?
A: A more...

Q: Why shouldnt violists take up mountaineering? A: Because if they get lost, it takes ages before anyone notices that theyre missing.