Violists Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How many violists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know; they can't reach that high.

Why do violists stand for long periods outside people's houses? They can't find the key and they don't know when to come in.

Q: What is a chord? A: Three violists playing in unison. Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto? A: Music Minus One. Q: What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline? A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline. Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section? A: Half a measure. Q: What is the difference between grapes and a viola? A: You take off your shoes to stamp on grapes. Conductor: Again from measure 5, if you please. Voice from viola section: But Maestro, we have no measure numbers. Q: What is the difference between a chainsaw and a viola? A: If you absolutely had to, you could use a chainsaw in a string quartet. Q: What do you call a person who plays the viola? A: A violator. Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section? A: A semi-tone. Q: Why are violas so large? A: It is an optical illusion. It's not that the violas are large, just that the viola player's heads are so more...

Why do violists leave their instrument cases on the dashboards of their cars? So they can park in "handicapped" parking places. orIf someone mistakes them for mafia, they might get some respect.

Why don't violists play hide and seek? Because no one will look for them.