Vagina Jokes / Recent Jokes

So this little boy heres his mom call his dad a bitch and his dad called his mom a bastard. so later that day he asks his mom " hey mom what is a bitch and a bastard? well a bitch is a girl and a bastard is a guy. So after learning that he goes upstairs and hears his dad shot SHIT and he asks his dad " what does shit mean? its another word for shaving cream. So he goes outside and heres this little boy say i wanna stick my penis up your vagina. after that he goes inside and asks his parents what a penis and a vagina is. His mom replies well a Penis is a hat and Vagina is a coat. Later that night his mom shouts FUCK and he asks what does that mean? she says thats another word for cutting the chicken. The doorbell rings and he says hello bitchs and bastards can i take your penis and vagina? My dad is upstairs shitting himself and my mom is in the kitchen fucking the chicken.

One morning around 5am 22 year old Susan DaLucci of Kittery, Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain. It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhea, just but the wrong hole.

She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In paralyzing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled.

She was screaming wildly, and the neighbors called the police. When medics arrived they found Ms. DeLucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup.

The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was more...

Mr and Mrs Punjabi are sitting in a bath tub.
Punjaban: Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I'll sink?

Mr and Mrs Punjabi are sitting in a bath tub.
Punjaban: Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I'll sink?

Q: How do you convince 4 Punjabi Women to sit on the same chair?
A: Turn the chair upside down!

Mr and Mrs Punjabi are sitting in a bath tub.
Punjaban: Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I'll sink?

Take notes, all you Casanovas...
1) NOT KISSING FIRST. Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A properly passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.
2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR. Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.
3) NOT SHAVING. You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.
4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST. Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hands on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.
5) BITING HER NIPPLES. Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp more...