Utah Jokes / Recent Jokes
It is against the law to fish from horseback. It is illegal not to drink milk. Birds have the right of way on all highways. It's legal for restaurants to serve wine with meals, but only if you ask for the wine list. It is considered an offense to hunt whales. It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon. You can have them, but you just can't detonate them.In Utah when a person reaches the age of 50, he/she can then marry their cousin. A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence. Kaysville: You must have identification to enter a convenience store after dark. Logan: Women may not swear. Monroe: Daylight must be visible between partners on a dance floor. Provo: Throwing snowballs will result in a $50 fine. Salt Lake City: No one may walk down the street carrying a paper bag containing a violin. Trout Creek: Pharmacists may not sell gunpowder to cure headaches.
What do you call ten Utah State law students standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.
According to officials in Utah, rescuers trying to find six miners inside a collapsed coal mine will drill a THIRD hole in attempt to locate the men.
I'll tell ya, it's always the same thing. You drill one hole, then the second hole. Then it's just a matter of time before you're drilling that third hole. It's just like sex with Paris Hilton.
REDMOND, WASHINGTON - In order to calm growing impatience among PC users concerning the repeated delays of its new Windows 95 operating system, Microsoft Corporation announced what it calls the "Cool User Program for Windows 95." To participate in this offer, a user pays US$10,000 at which time he or she will be placed in a cryogenic suspension. The user will then remain in a state of hibernation until about a week before the Windows 95 ship date.
"We expect that the users will need a few days to recuperate and acquaint themselves with the changes that will occur in society between the onset of cold sleep and the release of Windows 95," explained a Microsoft spokesman. These may include "the OJ Simpson trial ending, another momentous Congressional election, faster-than-light travel and possible leaps in human evolution."
Because Microsoft expects a large response to this offer, a vast area will be needed for the storage facility. "We have more...
A game warden stops a duck hunter at the end of a days hunt and asks to check his birds. The hunter says, "Sure, go right ahead."
The warden picks up the first duck puts his finger up its ass and smells it and says, "This is a Utah duck. Do you have a Utah license?" The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his Utah license.
The warden picks up the second duck puts his finger up its ass, smells it and says, "This is a Wyoming duck. Do you have a Wyoming license?" The man shows him his Wyoming license.
The warden then picks up the third duck sticks his finger up its ass and says, "This here is a Colorado duck. Do you have a Colorado hunting license?" The hunter shows him his Colorado hunting license.
The game warden says, "You sure do carry a lot of hunting licenses with you. Where you from anyway?"
The hunter drops his drawers bends over and says, "You're so damn smart, you tell me!"
Now we'll never know if Donny Osmond used performance-enhancing drugs to win Dancing with the Stars.