Useless Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why English Teachers Are Important: The Words are the same. Only the punctuation changes... Dear Thomas, I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours? MariaDear Thomas, I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours, Maria

Did you know that a man is made up of many useless things? He has an Adam's apple that isn't an appleTwo calves that will never become cowsA nose bridge that doesn't lead anywhereA roof of the mouth that won't cover anythingTwenty nails that won't hold a boardA chest that won't hold linenTwo boobs that won't give milkTwo buns that won't feed anyoneA belly button that won't buttonTwo balls that won't rollAn ass that won't pull a plowAn organ that won't play musicA cock that won't crow

These two guys, George and Harry, set out in a Hot Air balloon to cross the Atlantic Ocean. After 37 hours in the air, George says "Harry, we better lose some altitude so we can see where we are". Harry lets out some of the hot air in the balloon, and the balloon descends to below the cloud cover. George says, "I still can't tell where we are, lets ask that guy on the ground". So Harry yells down to the man "Hey, could you tell us where we are?". And the man on the ground yells back "You're in a balloon, 100 feet up in the air". George turns to Harry and says "That man must be a lawyer". And Harry says "How can you tell?". George says "Because the advice he gave us is 100% accurate, and totally useless". That's the end of the Joke, but for you people who are still worried about George and Harry: They end up in the drink, and make the front page of the New York Times: "Balloonists Soaked by Lawyer".

"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers." — Pablo Picasso

Goebel's Law Of Useless Difficulty: Just because it's hard, doesn't mean it's worth the effort.

Looks like the most useless group of people is looking for help from the 2nd & 3rd most useless groups of people.

Q. What do you call that useless piece of skin around a pussy?
A. A woman.