Ugly Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man who isn't qualified keeps pestering this tailor about giving him a job selling suits. Finally, the owner tells him if he can sell this one green suit he will give him a job.Another employee points out to owner that they have had that suit on the rack for four years, and that it is such an ugly, green suit that nobody would ever buy it.The owner replies, "Yah, I know. That's my way of getting rid of that pest!"Two hours later the new guy calls his boss for his next assignment.The owner cannot believe it and heads down to the store to see how this fellow did it. Upon arrival he sees his new salesman bleeding, scratched, and his clothes torn in several places, but smiling."Congratulations, the job is yours! Nobody has come close to selling that old, ugly, green suit.But tell me, what in the world happened to you?""Well, replied the salesman, the guy that bought the suit loved it... said it fit him great.As far as my injuries go, he had this really sensitive more...
Aircraft Identification:
If it's ugly, it's British.
If it's weird, it's French.
If it's ugly and weird, it's Russian.
U SO UGLY YOUR MOMMA HAD TO PUT A PORKCHOP AROUND YOUR NECK JUST SO THe DOG WILL PLAY WITH U!!
- Yo Mama's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals" - Yo Mama's so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yeah! Let's go bury it!" - Yo Mama's so ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies. - Yo Mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped the wrong end. - Yo Mama's so ugly, they didn't make a costume for her when she tried out for Star Wars. - Yo Mama's so ugly, when she walks down the street in September, people say, "Damn! Is it Halloween already?" - Yo Mama's so ugly, the govt. moved Halloween to her birthday. - Yo Mama's so ugly, her mom had to feed her with a sling shot. - Yo Mama's so ugly, she had to trick-or-treat over the phone. - Yo Mama's so ugly, two guys broke into her apt., she yelled "rape", they yelled "NO!" - Yo mama's so ugly, she's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run for the border. - more...
Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesnt have to kiss her goodbye.