Udurawana Jokes / Recent Jokes
Udurawana: Nurse, I am very eager to know my blood group.
Nurse: B positive
Udurawana: please tell me soon. ...
Nurse: B positive
Udurawana: Madam, I am positive, but eager to know my blood group.
One day Udurawana just relaxing at a beach. One person who is passing him just smile at him and asked "are you relaxing? " Udurawana returned " No i'm Udurawana " The person get bit upset and continue is walk. The another person did same thing and got same reply from Udurawana. After this happened few more times Udurawana decided to leave from that place.
While he is walking he just saw a man who is lying on a mat and Udurawana asked him that " are you relaxing " and he replied with a smile "yes." Furious Udurawana exclaimed to him " What the hell are you doing here? all people are looking for you over there "
Udurawana went to Colombo for official matter and called to his house over
phone. Servant had taken the receiver.
Udurawana: Who is speaking?
Servant: Servant Sir.
Udurawana: Where is the Madam?
Servant: She is sleeping with her husband in bedroom.
Udurawana: What? I am her husband came to Colombo today.
Servant: What can I do now sir?
Udurawana: Open the cupboard, pick the Gun, shoot both of them, come back
and tell me, till then I am waiting in the line."
After some time. .. there
come 2 shooting sounds. .. after that. ..
Servant: Yes, I did Sir. But what can I do next Sir?
Udurawana: Open the back door, throw both of them into the swimming pool
Servant: There is no swimming pool in our house Sir
Udurawana: What...? No swimming pool?
Servant: Yes Sir
Udurawana: Sorry, wrong number! !!!!!!!
Once Udurawana was driving along the highway one evening. All of a sudden, it came a nature call terribly. He saw a little bar up the way and he pulled into the parking lot.
When he got inside, he found the place was packed! The bar ws crowded with people trying to get drinks, ladies were dancing on the tables and there's hardly standing room anywhere.
Udurawana scaned the place a couple of times to find the restrooms, but to no avail. Finally, he spoteda small stairway and scrambled up.
When he got to the top, he discovered that all the doors were locked. except one. When he open the door, all he saw was a big hole in the floor. Desperate, he dropped his pants and dumped the biggest load he's ever had right there in the hole.
Relieved, he calmly walked down the stairs. To his surprise, the once crowded barroom was completely empty, not a soul was in sight. Slowly, a bartender rose from behind the bar.
"What happened!?!" asked Udurawana
The more...
Have you heard of Mr. Udurawana applying to a medical school to become a doctor?
Needless to say he never made it. You know why?
These are the answers he wrote in his entrance exam.
Antibody - against everyone
Artery - The study of the paintings.
Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria.
Caesarean section - a district in Rome.
Cardiology - advance study of poker playing.
Cat scan - searching for lost kitty.
Chronic - neck of a crow.
Coma - punctuation mark.
Cortisone - area around local court.
Cyst - short for sister.
Diagnosis - person with slanted nose.
Dilate - the late British Princess Diana.
Dislocation - in this place.
Duodenum - couple in blue jeans.
Enema - not a friend.
Fake labour - pretending to work.
Genes - blue denim.
Hernia - she is close by.
Impotent - distinguished/well known.
Labour pain - hurt at work.
Lactose - people without toes.
Lymph - walk more...
Udurawana went to Colombo for an official matter and called to his house over the phone.
Servant takes the receiver.
Udurawana: Who is speaking?
Servant: Servant Sir.
Udurawana: Where is the Madam?
Servant: She is sleeping with her husband in bedroom.
Udurawana: What?!!!! I am her husband
Servant: What can I do now sir?
Udurawana: Open the cupboard, pick the Gun, shoot both of them, come back and tell me, till then I am waiting in the line.
After some time. .. there come 2 shooting sounds. .. after that. ..
Servant: Yes, I did Sir. But what can I do next Sir?
Udurawana: Open the back door, throw both of them into the swimming pool
Servant: There is no swimming pool in our house Sir
Udurawana: What...? No swimming pool?
Servant: Yes Sir
Udurawana: Sorry, wrong number! !!!!!!!
Udurawana bought a new mobile.
He sent a message everyone from his Phone Book & said
"My MobileNo. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"
Udurawana: I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Udurawana: No he is not studying, they r Studying him.
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Udurawana: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.. ...
Interviewer shouts: Stop it.
Udurawana: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
Udurawana: Doctor, In my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Udurawana: Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.
Udurawana: If I die will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister.
But if I die will u remarry?
Udurawana: No, I'll also stay with your sister
Udurawana: People consider me as a "GOD"
Wife: How do you know??
Udurawana: When I went to the Park more...