"UDURAWANA - BRAND NEW STUFF" joke

Udurawana bought a new mobile.
He sent a message everyone from his Phone Book & said
"My MobileNo. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"

Udurawana: I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Udurawana: No he is not studying, they r Studying him.

Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Udurawana: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.. ...
Interviewer shouts: Stop it.
Udurawana: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

Udurawana: Doctor, In my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Udurawana: Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

Udurawana: If I die will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister.
But if I die will u remarry?
Udurawana: No, I'll also stay with your sister
Udurawana: People consider me as a "GOD"
Wife: How do you know??
Udurawana: When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again..

Udurawana complained 2 Police: Sir all items are missing,
except the TV in my house.
Police: How the thief did not take TV???
Udurawana: I was watching TV news...
Udurawana comes back 2 his car & find a note saying "Parking Fine" He Writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 complement"
How do you recognize Udurawana in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

Once Udurawana was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other. So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.
Udurawana is in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and says "Hello, how did you know I was here?"
Udurawana bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Kandy, where he lived, to Colombo to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day,
his distraught mother ran and asked him "What Happened, My Son" Udurawana got out, obviously very tired from the long journey, and said, "These Maruti Car people are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!
Udurawana - why r all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Udurawana - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Udurawana: The future tense is "u will go to jail"
Udurawana told his servant: Go and water the plants
Servant: It's already raining
Udurawana: So what? Take an umbrella and go.