Truth Jokes / Recent Jokes

You seem to be in some distress,' said the kindly judge to the witness. `Is anything the matter?' `Well, your Honour,' said the witness, `I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects.'

Many a relationship could be thrown a curve ball if women always told the truth in bed. Imagine the revelation...
She: Get off of me, will ya! He: Whatsa matter, am I hurting you?
She: No, you're not hurting me, you're annoying me. You think you could hurt me with THAT?!?

Many a relationship could be thrown a curve ball if women always told the truth in bed. Imagine the revelation...She: Get off of me, will ya! He: Whatsa matter, am I hurting you? She: No, you're not hurting me, you're annoying me. You think you could hurt me with THAT?!?

If you tell the truth you don`t have to remember anything.

Mother to her daughter: "Why does the tablecloth you just put on the table have the word `truth' written on it?"
Daughter: "Because I want to turn the table into a truth table!"

Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and human relationships. That's why it's a good idea to keep engineers away from customers, romantic interests, and other people who can't handle the truth.
Engineers sometimes bend the truth to avoid work. They say things that sound like lies but technically are not because nobody could be expected to believe them. The complete list of engineer lies is listed below.
"I won't change anything without asking you first."
"I'll return your hard-to-find cable tomorrow."
"I have to have new equipment to do my job."
"I'm not jealous of your new computer."

You can`t hide the truth
Henry Goldberg invited his mother Freda over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Freda couldn`t help but keep noticing how beautiful Henry `s roommate, Debbie, was.
Freda had long been suspicious of a relationship between Henry and Debbie and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, Freda started to wonder if there was more between Henry and Debbie than met the eye. Reading his mum`s thoughts, Henry said, "I know what you must be thinking, mum, but I assure you Debbie and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Debbie said to Henry "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I`ve been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don`t suppose she took it, do you?" Henry replied "Well, I doubt it, but I`ll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother, I`m not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle more...