Trousers Jokes / Recent Jokes

The handsome ad exec and his date entered a restaurant and were seated near the center of the floor. A pretty waitress, observing that the man had forgotton to zip his trousers, scribbled a message on her order pad, left it at his table and scurried away.
Unfolding the note, the man read: "Sir, I'm sure you don't know it, but your fly is unzipped and you're exposing yourself. I will go back to the kitchen and knock some trays off a shelf. The noise will distract everyone and you'll have a chance to adjust your trousers.
"P. S. I love you."

Teacher: If you had 20p in one trouser pocket and 60p in the other, what do you have?
Pupil: Someone else? s trousers, miss.

A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband - who was a big burly man - tossed his trousers to his bride and said, "Here, put these on." She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your trousers," she said.
"That's right,'' said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family."
With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on."
He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. "Hell," he said. ''I can't get into your panties!"
She replied, "That's right, and that's the way its going to stay until your attitude changes."

A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night.
As they were undressing for bed, the husband, who was a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his bride and said, "Here, put these on".
She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your trousers" she said.
"That's right..." said the husband, "...and don't you ever forget it.
"I'm the man who wears the trousers in this family".
With that she flipped him her knickers and said "try these on".
He tried them on and found he could only get them as far as his knees.
"Hell...", he said "I can't get into your knickers!"
She replied "That's right, and that's the way its going to stay until your f**king attitude changes"

Rule One
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise:
You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers more...

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you"d better be delivering a package, because you"re sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter"s body, I will remove them.
Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don"t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, infact come off during the course of you date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten more...

Two newlyweds were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband - who was a big burly man - tossed his trousers to his bride and said, "Here, put these on." She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.
"I can't wear your trousers," she said.
"That's right,'' said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family."
With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on."
He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. "Hell," he said. ''I can't get into your panties!"
She replied, "That's right, and that's the way it's going to stay until your attitude changes."