Trek Jokes / Recent Jokes
Top 10 Reasons Star Trek Is Better Than Star Wars 10. Deanna Troi discarded the bun after one season. Princess Leia still has those donut braids. 9. Worf's speech is at least intelligible, but Harrison Ford has to translate for Chewbacca. 8. Star Trek villains do NOT have asthma. 7. Star Wars spawned "Battlestar Galactica." The worst Star Trek ever did was "Babylon Five." 6. Spock--' nuff said. 5. Star Trek-- the first space shuttle. Star Wars-- a hare-brained nuclear defense system. 4. Kirk met "God" and told him off; Sisko met Q and decked him flat; Luke Skywalker met Yoda and was speechless. 3. Star Wars androids look like electronic trash cans on wheels. Star Trek androids look like some people's ideal in masculine beauty. 2. Star Wars: Princess Leia. Star Trek: Lt. Uhura, Nurse Chapel, Yeo. Rand, Lt. Saavik, Cmr. Troi, Dr. Crusher, Lt. Yar, Ens. Ro, Dr. Pulaski, Nurse Ogawa, Amb. K'ehleyr, Amb. Lwaxana Troi, Maj. Kira, Lt. Dax, Kai Winn, Lursa, more...
Star Trek Carols
Jean-Luc Picard (to the tune of ''Let It Snow'')
Oh, the vacuum outside is endless,
Unforgiving, cold, and friendless,
But still we must boldly go-
Make it so, make it so, make it so!
William Riker: (to the tune of ''Deck the Halls'')
Here's a vexing Christmas riddle:
(Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la la)
Why must I play second fiddle?
(Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la la)
How can I impress Deanna
(Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la la la)
When I'm number two banana?
(Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la la)
Wesley Crusher: (to the tune of ''God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen'')
I'm at Starfleet Academy,
And I'd just like to say
I miss the opportunity
To weekly save the day-
To make things worse, I have to be
In some dumb Christmas play!
Yes, I'm bright, though I'm just a teenaged boy,
Only a boy,
And the Enterprise was my most favourite toy!
Data: (to the tune of ''Jingle Bells'')
Jingle Bells, Jingle more...
You Might be an Engineer. ..
If you introduce your wife as "mylady@home. wife"
If your spouse sends e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
When your line to a prospective date is "Hi, what's your URL"
If you use a spreadsheet to divide the bill at a restuarant...
If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas...
If Dilbert is your hero...
If, you are the only person you know who's VCR clock does not flash
00. 00. 00...
If, you first teach your kid to count in binary...
If, instead of buying your kid a dog, you build him one...
If you stare at an orange juice container because it says
CONCENTRATE
If you wear black socks with white tennis shoes...
I you've played Dungeons and Dragons...
If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes...
If you saw the latest Star Trek movie the day that it opened...
If your wrist watch has more computing power that a 486DX-50...
If your idea of a "good more...
If you introduce your wife as "
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it "
If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas
If Dilbert is your hero
If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE
If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes
If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail
If your wrist watch has more computing power than a Pentium Pro
If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place
If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys
If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car
If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts
If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be more...
The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech, and walked out into the lobby where he met President Bush.
They shook hands, and as they walked the Iranian said, "George, I have just one question about what I have seen in America."
President Bush said, "Well, anything I can do to help you, I will."
The Iranian whispered "My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there is Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty who is Scottish, and Sulu who is Asian, but no Arabs. My son is very upset and doesn't understand why there aren't any Arabs on Star Trek."
President Bush laughed, leaned toward the Iranian ambassador, and whispered back, "It's because it takes place in the future."
q.What does star trek and toilt paper have in common
a.they both circle uranus and try to find a black whole
n Blond kom by die huis na werk en besluit om gou te gaan bad.
Sy trek al haar kleure uit en wil in die bad klim toe sien sy deur die badkamer venster haar klein hondjie, met die naam Naaimy, hardloop in die straat af.
Sy hardloop uit die huis uit sonder om enige iets aan te trek. Sy hardloop in die straat af opsoek na haar hondjie, soos sy hardloop roep sy, "Naaimy! Naaimy! Naaimy!"
Voor in die straat staan n Hoofgeneraal en al sy manne.
Hy gee hulle opdrag,
"Broeke af! Pielle syf! Chaaaarge!"