Trampoline Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A: You don’t know how? Good!

Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?
A: In the cemetary.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A: A boxing referee doesn’t get paid extra for a longer fight.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A: When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and an angry rhinoceros?
A: The lawyer charges more.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a computer nerd?
A: Sooner or later everyone needs a lawyer.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
A: One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is a catfish.

Q: What’s the difference between more...

Q: What is a chord? A: Three violists playing in unison. Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto? A: Music Minus One. Q: What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline? A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline. Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section? A: Half a measure. Q: What is the difference between grapes and a viola? A: You take off your shoes to stamp on grapes. Conductor: Again from measure 5, if you please. Voice from viola section: But Maestro, we have no measure numbers. Q: What is the difference between a chainsaw and a viola? A: If you absolutely had to, you could use a chainsaw in a string quartet. Q: What do you call a person who plays the viola? A: A violator. Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section? A: A semi-tone. Q: Why are violas so large? A: It is an optical illusion. It's not that the violas are large, just that the viola player's heads are so more...

Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A: To get away from the noise.

Q: What`s the only thing worse than a bagpiper?
A: Good question. We`re still trying to find out too.

Bagpipes (noun) - I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made object never equaled the purity of sound achieved by the pig. -Alfred Hitchcock

Q. How do you get two bagpipes to play a perfect unison?
A. Shoot one.

Q. What`s the definition of a minor second?
A. Two bagpipes playing in unison.

Q. What`s the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
A. No one cries when you chop up a bagpipe.

Q. What`s the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.

Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?
A. He can throw a set into the middle of more...

What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50? Your honor What do you call a lawyer whose gone bad? Senator. What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline! What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start! How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving. What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead lawyer in the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog. How many lawyers does it take to roof a house? Depends on how thin you slice them. Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy. What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? Not enough sand. When lawyers die, why are they buried in a hole 24 feet deep? Because down deep, they are all nice guys!!!! How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Cut the rope. How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water. What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a more...

What's the difference between a bassoon and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.

Q: What is a chord?
A: Three violists playing in unison.

Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto?
A: Music Minus One.

Q: What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline.

Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section?
A: Half a measure.

Q: What is the difference between grapes and a viola?
A: You take off your shoes to stamp on grapes.

Conductor: Again from measure 5, if you please.
Voice from viola section: But Maestro, we have no measure numbers.

Q: What is the difference between a chainsaw and a viola?
A: If you absolutely had to, you could use a chainsaw in a string quartet.

Q: What do you call a person who plays the viola?
A: A violator.

Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section?
A: A more...

Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline