Touch-tone Jokes

If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread." Stutter on the letter "p" Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!) Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise more...