Cheeser Jokes

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    100 Ways to annoy the pizza guy
    1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
    2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
    3. Use CB lingo where applicable.
    4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
    5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
    6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
    7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
    8. Answer their questions with questions.
    9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
    10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.
    11. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
    12. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of more...

    If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread." Stutter on the letter "p" Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!) Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise more...

    If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
    Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
    Use CB lingo where applicable.
    Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
    Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
    Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
    Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
    Answer their questions with questions.
    In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
    Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST, FREE-SPIRITED, COST-EFFICIENT, UKRAINIAN, PUCE.
    Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
    Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.
    Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them more...

    If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
    Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
    Use CB lingo where applicable.
    Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
    Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
    Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
    Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
    Answer their questions with questions.
    In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
    Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.
    Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
    Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.
    Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them more...

    What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!

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