Tore Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."
Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did. Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.
"Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday."
Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.
Letter 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend,
Bobby
Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very more...

Little Johnny went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the way he acts. She said, Well, Little Johnny, it isn't Christmas and we dont have the money to just go out and buy you anything you want. So why dont you write a letter to Jesus and pray for one instead. After his temper tantrum, his mother sent him to his room. He finally sat down to write a letter to Jesus...
Dear Jesus,
I've been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new bicycle.
Your Friend,
Little Johnny
Little Johnny knew that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he was (a brat). So, he ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try.
Dear Jesus,
I've been an OK boy this year and want a new bicycle.
Yours truly,
Little Johnny
Well, Little Johnny knew this wasn't totally honest so he tore it up and tried again. Dear Jesus, I've thought about being a good boy this year and can I have a new more...

A great pianist was driving down a road when he saw a bar with a sign saying "MUSICIAN WANTED". Being the hotshot he was, he walked in and offered to fill the void. So, the bartender told him to give a demo. So, the pianist went over to the piano and began to play.
The song was phenomenal, and the bartender was very impressed. The bartender promptly asked, "What was the name of that song?" The pianist smiled and said "What the hell is that on my dick?" The bartender was taken aback but told the pianist to play another song. This song was even better than the last, and the bartender was Very impressed.
Slightly reluctant he asked, "Was that song's name?" The pianist said, "Them Tits is Fucking Huge!" The bartender was perplexed, but sighed and said, " You can play at my bar but you can't announce the name of your songs." One night the pianist is playing at a bar and he decides to spice it up a bit with performances more...

'Twas the night after Thanksgivingand all through the nell,not a creature was stirringexcept Tiger on his cell.
Elin was stalking her man to find more.With hopes to catch Cheetah textinghis whore.
The moms' in their nightieslaid down for some sleep,Elin continued her search for that creep.
When all through the house there arose such a clatter!Elin found his golf clubs,his face she would shatter!
Neighbors ran to there windows,tore open the curtain,Holy shit! It was Tigerscreaming and hurtin'!
Barefoot he sprinted barelytouching the grass.Madly hoping and praying to save his own ass.
Help Jesus, help Buddah, Oprah, Tom Cruise!Somebody please save me from theobituary news!
Elin swift on his heels screaming, swinging and crying,I'll kill you, you Cheetah!I knew you were lying!
A smack to his forehead, crunch went his teeth.OMG! Elin! I never did cheat!
Tiger ran to the car,tore open the door.Crash went a window!That's for your whore!
He more...