Tore Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two Indians and a Hillbilly were walking in the woods, all of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" he called into the cave and then he listened very closely until he heard an answering, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" He tore off his clothes and ran into cave.
The Hillbilly was puzzled and asked the other Indian what that was all about. "Was he crazy or what?" "No," said the Indian. "It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler "Wooooo Wooooo! Wooooo!" into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there is a girl in there waiting to mate."
Just then they saw another cave. The second Indian ran up to the opening of the cave, stopped and hollered, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" Immediately, there was an answering "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" from deep inside the cave. He tore off his clothes and ran into the more...

Two Indians and a Hillbilly were walking in the woods, all of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave."
Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" he called into the cave and then he listened very closely until he heard a answering, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"
He tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.
The Hillbilly was puzzled and asked the other Indian what that was all about, was the other Indian crazy or what?
"No," said the Indian.
"It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler 'Wooooo Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there is a girl in there waiting to mate."
Just then they saw another cave.
The Indian ran up to the opening of the cave stopped, and hollered, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"
Immediately, there was an answering "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" from deep inside the cave. He tore off his clothes and ran more...

Two Indians and a Hillbilly were walking in the woods. All of a sudden, one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" he called into the cave and then he listened very closely until he heard an answering, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" He tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.
The Hillbilly was puzzled and asked the other Indian what that was all about. Was the other Indian crazy or what? "No," said the Indian. "It is our custom during mating season. When Indian men see cave, they holler, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there is a girl in there waiting to mate."
Just then they saw another cave. The Indian ran up to the opening of the cave, stopped, and hollered, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" Immediately, there was an answering "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" from deep inside the cave. He tore off his clothes and ran into the more...

Two Indians and a redneck were stolling through the woods, when suddenly one of the Indians ran up a hill to the opening of a small cave. "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" he called into the cave, and then listened very closely until he heard an answering, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" He quickly tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.
Puzzled, the redneck asked the other Indian what that was all about, was the other Indian crazy or what?
"No," said the Indian. "It is our custom during mating season. When Indian men see cave, they holler, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there is a girl in there waiting to mate."
Just then, they spotted another cave. The Indian ran up to the mouth of the cave, stopped, and hollered, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!". Immediately, there was an answering "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" from deep within the cave. He quickly tore off his clothes and ran into more...

A great Russian scientist Ivan Ivanowich Ivanow made experiments with a flea.
He said: "Jump, flea!" and it jumped 40 centimetres high.
So he took a pencil (a big Russian invention) and put the following record in the experimental log: "I said:' Jump, flea!' and it jumped 40 cm."
Then he tore off one of the flea's legs. He said: "Jump, flea!" and it jumped 30 centimetres high. He recorded: "When I tore off one leg, the flea jumped 30 cm."
Then he continued tearing off other legs and the flea jumped 20, 10, and 2 centimeters high, respectively. Everything was recorded in the log book.
When only 1 leg remained, the poor flea jumped only 1 millimeter and a half high. Again, it was recorded.
Finally he tore off the last leg. He said: "Jump, flea!". No response.
He said again (in a high voice): "Jump, flea!". Nothing.
He shouted: "Jump, flea!!!". The flea did not move.
So Ivan more...

Billy, Bobby and Joe had a spree in the fruit orchard. They tore all the fruit from the trees, gorged themselves, then threw fruit and generally vandalized the place. When the farmer caught them, he called the police and had them taken into custody. When the boys appeared before the judge after spending a night in jail, he asked them if they had learned their lesson. The first boy replied, "Yes, sir. All that fruit made me sick. My dad's a doctor, and he told me never to do that again!" The second boy was from a military family, "My dad told me that if I ever get in trouble with the law again, I can kiss Sandhurst goodbye!" The third boy told the judge, "You bet I won't do it. My dad's a lawyer, and I'm gonna sue that farmer for damages to my pants that got tore jumping his fence!"

Little Johnny went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the way he acts.

She said, “Well Johnny, it isn’t Christmas and we don’t have the money to just go out and buy you anything you want. So why don’t you write a letter to Jesus and pray for one instead. ” After his temper tantrum his mother sent him to his room. He finally sat down to write a letter to Jesus.

Dear Jesus,

I’ve been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new bicycle.

Your Friend,
Little Johnny

Now Little Johnny knew that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he was (Brat). So, he ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try.

Dear Jesus,

I’ve been an OK boy this year and I want a new bicycle.

Yours Truly,
Little Johnny

Well, Little Johnny knew this wasn’t totally honest so he tore it up and tried again.

Dear more...