Ton Jokes

" The first one is free" "Download a free trial version". Have important South-Asia connections (to help move the stuff) Have important South-Asia connections (to help debug the code). Strange jargon: " Stick", " Rock", " Dime bag", " E" Strange jargon: " TCP/IP", " XML", " Java", " SQL". Realize that there's a ton of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market Realize that there's a ton of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market. Job is assisted by industry's producing newer, more potent mixes Job is assisted by industry's producing newer, faster machines. Often seen in the company of pimps and hustlers Often seen in the company of marketing people and venture capitalists Their products cause unhealthy addictions. DOOM. Quake. SimCity. Duke Nukem 3D.; Enough said. Do your job well and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you Damn! Damn! DAMN!

A husband and wife were walking on a beach.
The wife finds a lamp half buried in the sand and picks it up.
When she began to rub the sand off, a Genie rises out of the lamp.
"Mistress, I will grant you three wishes. But, what ever you wish, your husband will receive 10 times more. What will you wish for first?"
The wife thought for a minute. "I wish for 1 ton of gold"
The genie said,"You will be given 1 ton of gold and your husband will be given 10 tons of gold. Granted. And what will your second wish be?"
The wife thought again for a minute, then said,"I wish for a grand palace."
The genie said,"You will be given 1 palace and your husband will be given 10 palaces. Granted. And what will your final wish be? And let me remind you, whatever you wish will be given to your husband 10 times.!"
The woman didn't hesitate.
"For my third wish, I want a teeny, weeny....... heart attack."

Q: What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? A: Anything you want. He cant hear you.

Q: What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? A: Anything you want. He can't hear you.

' 'Add this up for me. A ton of sawdust, a ton of old newspaper, and a ton of fat. Now, have you got all that in your head?''' 'Yes.''' ' Yeah, I thought so.''