Bloodshot Jokes

A policeman pulls over a reckless driver along the road. Going up to the driver's window, he takes one look and notes, "Your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The driver looks up out of those bloodshot eyes and responds, "Your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating donuts?"

'Twas just before Santy came,
the story is told.
Cattle weren't stirrin', fact they's
bunched against the cold.
The tack was hung near the
chuckwagon with care.
Why, we didn't know Santy was
close anywhere.
Cowboys on the ground were
wishin' for their beds
While nightmares of wild steers
ran through their heads.
'Tween now and the next gather,
we needed a nap.
Cookie had just finished, and
tied down the flap.
When out past the cavvy, there
rose such a fuss,
I sprang to my feet, leavin'
the bedroll a muss,
And grabbin' my shotgun and my
ragged ol' hat
I run t'ward the racket thinkin'
"... what'n thunder's that?"
When thoughts of amazement
through my head courses,
It was a buckboard teamed up
with draft horses,
A driver in red buckskins, so
spry and dainty,
I know'd in an instant, it
must be ol' Santy.
Quicker than more...