Title Jokes / Recent Jokes
Title Search Excerpted from the Empire State Surveyor, New York Society of Professional Surveyors, November 1990 One of the best examples of how ridiculous government paperwork can be is illustrated by a recent case in Louisiana. A company president was trying to buy some land in Louisiana for a plant expansion, and he wanted to finance this new facility with a government loan. His lawyer filled out all the necessary forms and applications and sent them appropriately. The government reviewed his application and abstract and sent the following reply: “We received today your letter enclosing application for your client supported by abstract of title. We have observed, however, that you have not traced the title previous to 1803, and before final approval, it will be necessary that the title be traced previous to that year. Yours truly, etc. ”
As a result, the lawyer sent the following letter to the government:
“Gentlemen, your letter regarding title received. I note you more...
Actual reference queries reported by American and Canadian library reference desk workers of various levels."Do you have books here?""Do you have a list of all the books written in the English language?""Do you have a list of all the books I've ever read?""I'm looking for Robert James Waller's book,' Waltzing through Grand Rapids.'" (Actual title wanted: "Slow Waltz in Cedar Bend.")"Do you have that book by Rushdie:' Satanic Nurses'?" (Actual title: "Satanic Verses")"Where is the reference desk?" This was asked of a person sitting at a desk who had, hanging above her head, a sign saying "REFERENCE DESK"!"I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that cost $39.95. Do you know which one it is?""Which outlets in the library are appropriate for my hair dryer?""Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park sites?""Do more...
Today the girl was stripped of her title when it came to light that she had texted her opposition to gay marriage.
Which song title makes an Ape heartsick? Gorilla My Dreams!
A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done
before, so she sets out to rent her first x-rated adult
video. She goes to the video store and, after looking
around for a while, selects a title that sounds very
stimulating.
She drives home, lights some candles, slips into
something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR.
To her disappointment though, there's nothing but static
on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.
"I just rented an adult movie from you and there's
nothing on the tape, but static."
"Sorry about, that," replied the store clerk. "We've had
problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you
rent?"
Replies the blonde, "It's called,' Head Cleaner'."