Columbus Jokes

They say that Christopher Columbus was the first Democrat.
When he left to discover America, he didn't know where he was going.
When he got there he didn't know where he was.
And it was all done on a government grant.

Christopher Columbus was stranded in Jamaica and needed supplies. He knew that an eclipse was to occur the next day. He told the tribal chief, "The God who protects me will punish you. Unless you give me supplies this night, a vengeance will fall upon you and the moon shall lose its light!"
When the eclipse darkened the sky, Columbus got all the supplies he needed.
In the early 1900s, and Englishman tried the same trick on a Sudanese chieftain. "If you do not follow my order," he warned, "vengeance will fall upon you and the moon will lose its light."
"If you're referring to the lunar eclipse," the Sudanese chieftain replied, "that doesn't happen until the day after tomorrow."

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral.
The title to the property dated back
to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down.
After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply:
"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral proper back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.
"Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note
that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 more...

How did Columbus's men sleep on their ships? With their eyes shut!

It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office. Signs are required to be written in English. It is against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp. One man may not be on another man's back. Though it is illegal to spit from a car or bus, citizens may spit from a truck.You have the right to commit simple battery if provoked by "fighting" words. Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session. Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs. No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday. It is illegal to take a bath of orange peel.Acworth: All citizens must own a rake. Columbus: Can't cut off a chicken's head on Sunday. Columbus: It is illegal to carry a chicken by it's feet down Broadway on Sunday. Gainesville: Chicken must be eaten with the hands. Jonesboro: It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy" Kennesaw: Every head of more...