Thigh Jokes / Recent Jokes
"Doctor, my fiance and I are getting married this weekend, and he thinks I'm still a virgin," the woman said. "Can you do anything to help me?"
"Medically, no," replied the doctor. "Try this: When you're getting ready for bed on your wedding night, slide a thick rubber band around your upper thigh. When he enters you, snap the rubber band and explain to him that it's your cherry popping."
On their wedding night, the bride undressed in the bathroom and slid the rubber band around her thigh. The couple then got into bed and began to make love. When her husband entered her, she snapped the rubber band right on cue.
"What the hell was that?" exclaimed the husband.
"That was my cherry popping," she explained.
"Well, could you snap it again?" he moaned. "It's got my balls!"
A lady was a huge Paul MCCartney fan and wanted a tattoo of him on the inside of her thigh. She went to the parlour and told the guy what she wanted. He says: "OK, take your skirt and underwear off and sit in the chair with your legs apart". She did that and he started on the tattoo. Pretty soon he's done, blows off the dust and admires his work." Who the heck's that?" she says." It's Paul McCartney", he replies." Doesn't look like him at all" says she. "Now get it right or I'll report you". So the tattooist starts on the other thigh. Really trying hard to do a better job. Finally he's done, blows off the dust and feels pretty good. The woman is pissed off "No way that's Paul Mccartney" she says." It bloody well is" says the man. "Listen I'll get a second opinion"He goes out of his store and grabs the first person he sees. The guy is a drunk who's been stumbling along the sidewalk. The tattooist drags the more...
A lady went to a tatoo parlour & asked to get a tatoo of a turkey on the inside of her right thigh & a tatoo of a x'mas tree on hte inside of her left thigh. the tatooist asked why this was so. The lady replied that this way, her lover would have something to eat between thanksgiving and X'mas!
What is red and sticky and crawls up a girls thigh? A home-sick abortion.
This woman walks into a tattoo shop and asks for a tattoo of a Christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh.
The tattoo artist say that's an unusual request. Why do you want two tattoos there?
So she says because my husband needs to eat between Christmas and new years.
A Girl gets two tattoos on her inner thighs: one of Mike Tyson on her right inner thigh and the other is of Evander Holifield on her left inner thigh. She points to them and asks the bartender "Does this look like Mike Tyson?" Bartender says "No."
She then asks "Does this look like Evander Holifield?" Bartender says "Nope sorry."
She's says "Well I want another opinion." She sees a drunk guy at the end of the bar. She points to her inner right thigh and asks him "Does this tattoo look like Mike Tyson?"
Drunk guy says "No." She points to her inner left thigh and asks "Well does this tattoo look like Evander Holifield?"
Drunk guy says "No but the one in the middle looks like Don King."
This lady went to a tattoo artist and told him she wanted a turkey tattooed on the upper most inner side of her left thigh. He had seen weirder so he didn't think too much about it. Then she wanted a Santa tattooed on the upper most inner side of her right thigh. After he finished the last tattoo, he just couldn't help asking her, "Why the turkey and Santa?" She replied, "I'm tired of my husband complaining that there is nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas!!!"