Theorem Jokes / Recent Jokes
Theorem: All numbers are equal. Proof: Choose arbitrary a and b, and let t = a + b. Thena + b = t(a + b)(a - b) = t(a - b)a^2 - b^2 = ta - tba^2 - ta = b^2 - tba^2 - ta + (t^2)/4 = b^2 - tb + (t^2)/4(a - t/2)^2 = (b - t/2)^2a - t/2 = b - t/2a = bSo all numbers are the same, and math is pointless.
Dilbert's "Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people."
This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power. Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time
And since: Knowledge = Power And: Time = Money, It is therefore true that Knowledge = Work / Money Solving this equation for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of Work done.
Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.
Dilbert's "Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people."This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power. Postulate 2: Time is Money.As every engineer knows: Power = Work / TimeAnd since: Knowledge = Power And: Time = Money, It is therefore true that Knowledge = Work / Money Solving this equation for Money, we get: Money = Work / KnowledgeThus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of Work done.Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.
Dilbert's Salary Theorem states that Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people. This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time
Since: Knowledge = Power,
then Knowledge = Work/Time,
and Time = Money,
then Knowledge = Work/Money.
Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge.
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, money approaches infinity,
regardless of the amount of work done.
Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make. Bummer.
Theorem: log(-1) = 0Proof: a. log[(-1)^2] = 2 * log(-1)On the other hand: b. log[(-1)^2] = log(1) = 0Combining a) and b) gives: 2* log(-1) = 0Divide both sides by 2: log(-1) = 0
Theorem: 1$ = 1c. Proof: And another that gives you a sense of money disappearing. 1$ = 100c= (10c)^2= (0. 1$)^2= 0. 01$= 1cHere $ means dollars and c means cents. This one is scary in that I have seen PhD's in math who were unable to see what was wrong with this one. Actually I am crossposting this to sci. physics because I think that the latter makes a very nice introduction to the importance of keeping track of your dimensions.
Flugg`s Law: When you need to knock on wood is when you realize that the world is composed of vinyl, naugahyde and aluminum.
Fourth Law of Applied Terror: The night before the English History mid-term, your Biology instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria. Corollary: Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor`s course.
Fourth Law of Revision: It is usually impractical to worry beforehand about interferences; if you have none, someone will make one for you.
Franklin`s Rule: Blessed is the end user who expects nothing, for he/she will not be disappointed.
Freeman`s Commentary on Ginsberg`s theorem: Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem meaningful is based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg`s Theorem. To wit: 1. Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win. 2. Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break even. 3. Mysticism is based on the assumption more...