Theft Jokes / Recent Jokes

Las Vegas police confirmed early Friday morning that O.J. Simpson has been questioned after someone alleged that he was involved in a theft at Palace Station casino........

Police are thinking he may try to flee and are getting ready for another slow speed chase however this time behind a white golf cart

The theft
Did you hear about the thieves that broke into the United Jewish Appeal offices?
They got away with over a million dollars in pledges!

The other day my house caught fire. The insurance agent said, "Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?" I said, "Fire and theft."Insurance agent frowned. "Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft."Apparently, the only way I can make a claim with this coverage is if the house is robbed while it's burning down.

Rapper DMX plead not guilty to identity theft...and I believe him...because I strongly doubt there is anyone else named DMX.

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately,
the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbour of his. The neighbour
happened to be a lawyer.
Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbour and said, "Hey, if
your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of
the meat?"
The lawyer replied, "Of course, how much was the roast?"
"$7.98."
A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to
it was an invoice that read, "Legal Consultation Service: $150."

A man accused of theft was appearing before the Judge.
"Your Honor," his lawyer said, "I feel it is very unfair for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in this city only a few days ago and barely knows his way around. What's more, he is only able to speak a few words of English."
The judge looked sternly at the defendant and asked, "How much English do you speak?"
The defendant looked up and replied, "Give me your wallet!"