Thanksgiving Jokes / Recent Jokes

Things You Can Only Say On Thanksgiving
1. Talk about huge breasts!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool Whip time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5. That's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen

I saw you across a crowded room. Among all the others that were there, The lights seemed to shine down on you alone. I knew then I had to have you for my own.Willingly, you came with me to my home. From the car, I carried you & threw open the door. Looking at you, I admire your body, your well shaped legs, and breasts.Slowly I remove what wraps, around your body so tightly, fitting you like a glove. Exposing your tender pale skin. From your neck I remove your charms, and carry you off in my arms, to the warm water that awaits.The water cascades down your neck, flowing over your soft breasts then, making your legs glisten with wetness. Droplets of water cover your taut skin. My hands rub your body, ummmm running them threw the beads of water. Making them trickle down off your body.I place my fingers inside you. You are warm and moist, so ready. I carry your still dripping body, to a laying place, so that I can put inside you what was well prepared to enter you before we even came more...

Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving? A: Turkey.

We braved airport lines, we braved delayed planes
We came home in cars, and we came home in trains
We came home from college, we took days off work
We spent hours in traffic, which drove us berserk
They stopped all the mail, and they closed all the banks
So we could be home and we could give thanks
To our friends and our family, on this holiday
Who remind us...why we all moved so far away
Happy Thanksgiving.

write christmas on one foot and thanksgiving on the other foot and ask to spend some time between the holidays

Last year I had my chance to do the traditional thing of
shooting my own turkey for Thanksgiving... you should have
seen the people scatter in the meat department.

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line.

When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus."

"Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"