Tender Jokes / Recent Jokes
There was a guy he walked into this bar. On the door it read "If you can make my horse laugh then I will give you $50". So he walked up to the bar tender and said I can make your horse laugh. So he went out in the back alley and came back and the horse was laughing. So the bar tender said a deal is a deal and gave him his $50. Then about three months later the same guy came back into this bar and say a sign on the door it read: If you can make my horse cry then I will give you $50. So he walked up to the bar tender and said I can make your horse laugh. So he went in to the back alley and made the horse cry. He came back in and the bar tender said a deal is a deal but first tell me how you hade my horse laugh and cry. He said to make him laugh I told him mine is bigger than his. To make him cry I showed him! "One day a Newfie goes down to the village carpenter and requests a wooden crate that is 1 inch tall, 1 inch wide and 50 feet long." When the carpenter asks more...
Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender Missionary. I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender." The second cannibal asks, "What kind of Missionary do you use?" The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads." "Ah, ha!" the second cannibal replies. "No wonder. .. those are friars!"
A guy goes into the bar with a carrot in his ear. He orders a drink. The bar tender wants to mention the carrot but doesn’t.
Next day the same guy with a carrot in his ear goes to the same bar and orders a drink. Again the bar tender wants to say something about the carrot but doesn’t.
The 3rd day the same guy and the same carrot go to the bar and order a drink. As the bar tender serves the man he can’t stand it any more. He says to the guy, “Hey Mack, you know you got a carrot in your ear?
The guy replies, “I can’t hear you because I’ve got a carrot in my ear. ”
A guy walks into a bar and just gets wasted smashed he cant even walk so the bar tender gets him a cab he goes home and comes back the next day to thank the bar tender the bar tender asks how did the night go and he says it sucked i blew chunks in every room of my house and the bar tender says that must of been a bitch to clean up and he says no dude chunks is my dog
A guy walks into a bar and looks really upset, and orders alot of shots. the bar tender ask him what is wrong and the guy said that he just found out that his little brother is gay. he came in the next day and looked even worse. the bar tender asked him what is wrong and he said that he just foind out that his other brother is gay. he came ion the next day and looked like crap and ordered a 100 shots. the bar tender said"damn! does anyone in your family like women." the guy said," yea, my wife!!!"
A guy goes into the bar with a carrot in his ear. He orders a drink. The bar tender wants to mention the carrot but decides against it.
On the next day, the same guy with a carrot in his ear goes to the same bar and orders a drink. Again, the bar tender wants to say something about the carrot but doesn't.
The 3rd day the same guy and the same carrot go to the bar and order a drink. As the bar tender serves the man he can't stand it anymore. He says to the patron, "Hey, you know you've got a carrot in your ear?"
The patron says to the bartender, "I can't hear you! I've got a carrot in my ear."
A blind man walks into a bar and asked"wana hear a blonde joke?" to the bar tender
the bar tender says"before u tell us that blonde joke let me tell you that this bar is full of blondes and that blonde is a pro wrestler and that one is a pro boxer and that one does karate etc etc! soo still wana tell us that blonde joke?"
the blind man says"not if i have to explain it over heaps of times!!"