Technology Jokes / Recent Jokes
Translated from latin scroll dated 2BC
Dear Cassius:
Are you still working on the Y zero K problem? This change from BC to AD is giving us a lot of headaches and we haven't much time left. I don't know how people will cope with working the wrong way around. Having been working happily downwards forever, now we have to start thinking upwards. You would think that someone would have thought of it earlier and not left it to us to sort it all out at this last minute.
I spoke to Caesar the other evening. He was livid that Julius hadn't done something about it when he was sorting out the calendar. He said he could see why Brutus turned nasty. We called in Consultus, but he simply said that continuing downwards using minus BC won't work and as usual charged a fortune for doing nothing useful.
Surely we will not have to throw out all our hardware and start again? Macrohard will make yet another fortune out of this I suppose.
The money more...
Prolonged contact with the computer turns mathematicians into clerks and vice versa.
Here's an easy game to play. Here's an easy thing to say:
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted' cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!
You can't say this?
What a shame sir!
We'll find you
Another game sir:
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your more...
Rick, fresh out of engineering school, went to a interview for a good paying job.
The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, "What is three times seven?"
"22," Rick replied.
After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator (he KNEW he should have taken it to the interview!) and realized he wouldn't get the job.
About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was hired for the job!
Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but he was very curious.
So, the next day, he went in and asked why he got the job, even though he got such a simple question wrong.
The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest."
I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your damn chain letters over the past few years. Yes, thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of what's left of my heart for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
Because of your concern...I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day
I no longer use margarine because it's one molecule away from being plastic.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually more...
In computing, turning the obvious into the useful is a living definition of the word "frustration".
A guy got a credit card bill stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away.
Next month he got another, did the same thing. The next month they sent him a very nasty note stating they were going to cancel his credit card if he didn't send them $0.00.
He called them, talked to them, they said it was "a glitch" and told him they'd take care of it.
The following month he tried to charge something and couldn't. He called the credit card company who again said they'd take care of it. The next day he got his bill for $0.00 stating that he was very delinquent.
The man figured the credit card company would take care of it, so he didn't worry. The next month he got a bill for $0.00 stating that he had 10 days to pay or his account was going to collection.
He mailed the credit card company a check for $0.00, and the credit card company's computer processed it, noting that his account was now paid in full.
A more...