Technology Jokes / Recent Jokes

At a recent Computer Expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up
with technology like the computer industry has, we would be driving
twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating:

If GM had developed technology like Mircrosoft, we would all be driving
cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to
buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and
you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
have to re-install the engine.
5. more...

Advice from 1999:

Please take time from your busy lives to check your toilet paper stockpile to make sure that it is Y2K compliant. Otherwise on January 1, 2000, it will roll back to 1900 and turn into a Sears catalog.

If your computer speaks English, it was probably made in Japan.

*What boots up must come down.

*Fax is stranger than fiction.

*Don't byte off more than you can view.

*The geek shall inherit the earth.

*The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.

*Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.

A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.

Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors.

"If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10, 000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."

"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"

Do you know what you get when you cross a pit-bull terrier with a computer?

I don't know either, but when it Megabytes it Megahertz.