Technician Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. Compaq is considering changing the instruction "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packed in.

3. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies of the floppies.

4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to FAX anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to FAX a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor's screen and pressing the "Send" key.

5. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find the more...

So you think you're computer-illiterate?
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labelled the diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.
4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.
5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the more...

The following is an excerpt from the Wall Street Journal by Jim Carlton.
This was forwarded by P. Wyatt.
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key," "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was
hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the
plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining
that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes.
After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem,
it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into
the typewriter to type the labels.
4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes.
A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with more...

A blonde went to the hospital to visit a friend who had recently undergone surgery. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a very large, intimidating looking machine which had various tubes, wires and dials.
"Boy, I sure would hate to have to be hooked up to that thing!" the blonde said.
"So would I," the technician replied. "It's a floor cleaning machine!"

Actual calls to technical supportComputer novices may feel like they`re alone these days, but some of the following calls to IBM`s help center show there are plenty of people out there who still are inching onto the information superhighway.

After a caller gave a technician her PC`s serial number, he scanned a database of registered users and responded, "I see you have an Aptiva" desktop unit. Before he could say another word, the caller shrieked and said she`d be right back. When the customer returned, the technician asked if she was all right. The caller responded: "Had I realized you could see me, I never would have telephoned in my bathrobe."

A customer who had just received a laptop computer asked about the power-saving feature known as "hibernate." Would this hibernate device work in the spring and summer, the caller asked.

Another caller explained she had received a gift of software on 5. 25-inch diskettes, but she more...

For those of you who have ever felt you may be technologically challenged, take heart. The following incidents may do the trick in restoring your self-confidence:
* A woman called AST customer support complaining that her mouse was difficult to control with the dust cover on. The 'dust cover' turned out to be the plastic the mouse was packaged in.
* AST asked another customer to send them a copy of his defective diskettes. A few days later, a letter from the customer arrived, together with photocopies of the floppies.
* Compaq tech support received a call from a woman saying her brand new computer wouldn't work. She had unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 15 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, her reply was, "What power switch?"
* An aggravated woman called Dell complaining that she wasn't able to get her new Dell computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, more...

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into his typewriter to type the labels.
4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes to the technician. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of her diskettes.
5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the more...