Tattoo Jokes / Recent Jokes

A fellow went to the tattoo parlour and had the words 'yes' and 'no' tattooed on his penis.
That night, he approached his wife in their bedroom. He stripped off his pants, then his boxers and there was his aroused organ displaying his new tattoo.
Proudly, he asked his wife, "Well, honey, what do you think of my new tattoo?"
"Bad enough you already tell me how to cook, clean house and do laundry," she replied, "now you're going to put words in my mouth?!?"

There once was a service man who toured the Middle East and married a beautiful little China doll.
He brought her back to the States and they were very happy.
He always enjoyed looking at her rear end and telling her what a beautiful butt she had. Every day it was, "Darling I love you and what a beautiful butt you have." Every night it was, "Darling I love you and what a beautiful butt you have."
Well his birthday was getting close and she wanted to surprise him with a tattoo on her rear end that said, "Beautiful Butt."
So she finds a reputable tattoo artist and explains what she wants. Well the artist asks her to turn around and after a brief pause says, "There is no way I can get "Beautiful Butt" on your tiny little beautiful butt." But I can put a nice "B" on each cheek which will stand for "Beautiful Butt."
A bit disappointed, she agrees and leaves with her B's.
Well the big day arrives more...

A man walks into a Tattoo parlor and asks the owner to give him a Tattoo of a Thousand Dollar bill on his pecker. The shop owner who had heard almost every kind requests was still curious and asks the man why he wants it tattooed on his penis.
"Well!" says the man"There are three reasons for it..."
" I like to PLAY with my money!"
"I want to see my money GROW!"
"And when my wife decides to BLOW $1000 she doesn't have to leave the house!"

A man went to the tattoo parlor and had the words "yes" and "no" tattooed on his penis. When he got home that night, he approached his wife in their bedroom. He stripped off his pants and shorts, revealing his aroused organ and its new tattoo.

"What do you think, honey?" he asked his wife.

Deliberately she said, "You tell me how to cook, you tell me how to clean the house, you tell me how to do the laundry... and now you're going to put words in my mouth?"

A woman goes into a tattoo parlour and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey.
So the guy does it and it comes out looking real good. The woman then instructs him to put a Santa Clause with "Merry Christmas" up on her left thigh.
So the guy does it and it comes out looking good too. As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist says "If you don't mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?"
She says "I'm sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time that there's nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas!"

A woman goes into a tattoo parlour and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a
tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh right up just below her bikini line. She
also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey. So the guy does it
and it comes out looking real good. The woman then instructs him to put a Santa
Clause with "Merry Christmas" up on her left thigh. So the guy does it and it
comes out looking good too. As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the
tattoo artist says "if you don't mind, could you tell me why you had me put
such unusal tattoos on your thighs?" She says "I'm sick and tired of my husband
complaining all the time that there's nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving
and Christmas."

A white guy is being shipped off to Jamaica for a year with the army. His fiance, Wendy, is really worried about her man being unfaithful, so she asks him to tattoo her name to his penis... He agrees, and does so. When his penis isn't erect you can see the letters W and Y. The woman feeling secure knowing that her name is tattooed on her man's penis says good-bye to her fiance and he leaves for Jamaica. One day, while in Jamaica, the guy is at the urinal and a black Jamaican comes and stands at the urinal next to him... The white guy happens to notice that the Jamaican also has a tattoo on his penis and he could see the letters W and Y, so he says to the Jamaican, "Wow, that's really interesting, I guess you have a girlfriend named Wendy too?" And the Jamaican looks at him with a puzzled look and then stretches out his penis and it says..."Welcome to Jamaica have a nice day!"